Monday morning with the Oscars

Well it's Monday morning, and apparently this is the time to start new things, such as a new exercise regime or a new healthy eating plan. I, however, have decided that today, this is the time that I will start a blog, and what better day to do it, than on the day of the Oscars! 

Apparently today there is also some political leadership challenge going on involving Ruddy and J Gill, but let’s be honest, no one cares. I'm still not on speaking terms with the government, due to my proposal to install a bus shelter at my bus stop (when I was in high school) being clearly dismissed. This led to very unfortunate rain soaked hair for many days through my high school years, obviously very damaging, but that's a story for another day.

Some people who do not have rain soaked hair are those celebs attending this year’s Oscars. The highlight of the awards season, the Oscars is one of my fav times to sit back and cast my (unprofessional) eye over the style prowess of many a celeb cover girl.

So let’s begin with a few faves, yes Rose Byrne and Milla Jovovich, I'm talking about you. These two lovely ladies led the sequin squad this year with R Byrne looking amaze in Vivienne Westwood and Milla, perfection in white Elie Saab. Head to toe beautiful. 9/10 to both.
Another member of the sequin squad, was Ellie Kemper in Armani Prive, however her matchy matchy look combined with her slightly stiff Lego Man-esk heavy fringe, didn’t quite get there for me 5/10.

As per every year at the Oscars, the neutral nana’s came out and this year they came out in force. Front running nanas were Cameron D, JLo and Rooney Mara. Each of these lovely lasses came through with the goods, looking stunning but were also somewhat predictable. 

Cameron in nude/peach Gucci 7/10, JLo in plunging Zuhair Murad 8/10 and Rooney in minimalist structured Givenchy 8/10. Having said this, each of these neutral nana’s nailed their makeup, with Rooney’s lip/brow combo being a standout. Octavia Spencer in my opinion was the top neutral nana/sequin squad member with her look near perfect from top to bottom, hair, makeup, fit, and colour. Bonanza 9/10.

Moving on to the coloured ladies, (who were few and far between this year) we have some front runners in the name of Michelle Williams and Emma Stone. Michelle W’s you're up first thanks.. So your Louis Vuitton gown supposedly took 300 hours to hand create/sew... Not at all unnecessary or extravagant (insert raised eye brow here) lucky it paid off, 8/10... Emma Stone on the other hand, you looked super lovely in your 'Nicole Kidman-circa-2007-oscars' inspired Balenciaga gown. Not awkward for you at all, lucky you're pretty.
However for those other ladies whose frocks took only a few hours to put together and were actually quite original, you also looked nice.

Now it wouldn’t be a fun Oscars wrap without a few opportunities for improvement would it. So despite the fact I truly believe everyone always looks lovely, lets shine the spotlight on those few who (in my professional opinion) probably just needed a little extra help… 

Berenice Bejo 4/10 – gorgeous colour, but not for you. Also, get those arms out, you’re 22 not 53.

Natalie Portman 5/10 – You’re always perfect, but you should have gone sans spots. Simple red strapless would have had you the Grazia slide show for the right reasons. Another one whose lucky she's pretty.

I am however very happy to say that if this is some of the worst, then this has been a triumphant year, as neither of these are completely disastrous. (I have chosen integrity over mentioning Jane Seymore)

It also wouldn’t be right to finish up without mentioning the red carpet pioneers in A Jolie and G Paltrow, respectively in black Versace and white Tom Ford. A Jolie could make a paper bag look good but her need to stand/pose with her leg out of her dress just negated any understated elegance she was aiming for 6/10. Gwyn however, rocked her structured Tom Ford dress and controversially worked a matching cape! Who’d have thought it? 9/10.

So in summary, if I had to pick a fav... I really can’t go past Stacey Kiebler. Molten gold Marchesa magic and to be on George’s arm, well that’s about as good as it gets, me thinks. Love.

So as Oscar day finishes, I ponder, what will I possibly find to waffle on about next…? Maybe the after parties... hmmm...

xxxx